Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Score One for the Good Guys

It ain't much, but anything against DRM is good, in my book. Found this over at techreport.

Yahoo Music to be DRM-free by Christmas?

Following Steve Job's open letter about digital rights management last week, the New York Times reported that the EMI Group had been in talks with Apple, Microsoft, Real Networks, and Yahoo over a proposal to make its music available without DRM. Yahoo Music General Manager Dave Goldberg has now told USA Today that he expects most of Yahoo's music catalog to be DRM-free by Christmas. Goldberg told the paper, "The labels understand that DRM has to go. It's nothing but a tax on digital consumers. There's good momentum behind DRM going away." He predicts that sales would increase by 15-20% without DRM, which may help compensate for dwindling music CD sales.

EMI declined to comment when asked directly by USA Today about its plans for DRM-free music. However, according to a Forrester Research analyst quoted by the paper, EMI has every reason to ditch DRM. The move would "slow the loss of its sales . . . and get a lot of attention for its artists," and besides, "anyone who wants to pirate music is already doing it."

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

As if WoW Wasn't Socially Wierd Enough

It's the nearest weekend to Valentine's Day. And Blizzard knows it. Apparently, during my hiatus from WoW, they came up with all kinds of automatic in-game events triggered by real-world holidays. They did Christmas even back when I originally played, and I had heard they added in a haloween festival of some sort after I left, but clearly, things have now gone crazy.

In-game Valentine's Day ORGIES.

Well, ok, not exactly. And certainly not explicit. But here's what I spent most of the day doing - Seducing various women (and occasionally men) of the police forces and chambers of commerce of the (virtual) world.

I hadn't ever quite thought I would say that.

It all started innocently enough. As I was checking my paladin's mail and taking care of his auctions, I noticed a new dwarf NPC out in front of the bank in Ironforge with an exclamation point over his head. Being the quest-hungry dork I am, I of course went to go see what epic tale of adventure would occupy the rest of my day today.

It began, as many quests do, innocently enough. The dwarf went to Stormwind recently and met a human girl, and he couldn't get his mind off her ever since, so he wanted me (a complete stranger) to deliver a little love note to her, since as he put it, "the mail is too full." Shrug.

Many might have seen this task as too trivial for a holy warrior of the light who had about 90 other things he needed to do, but being the shrewd guy I am, I knew that, in the parlance of our times, one thing would inevitably lead to another, and another. Such is the way that Blizzard often gets big balls rolling down steep hills: Deceptively slowly at first.

But I had no idea how right I was.

Upon arrival in Stormwind, I immediately noticed something was different. I had already taken note of many red candles and pink, heart-shaped paper cutouts adorning various shops and such in Ironforge, and thought "oh, Valentine decorations. Ok." But there was just.. a lot of activity in Stormwind that usually wasn't there. People were racing around, seemingly in circles, to seemingly random NPCs. The NPC would suddenly start giggling like a schoolboy/girl, and a big heart would appear over the player who apparently must have said something very naughty indeed, and then the player would run off to another random NPC.

By the time I arrived in the trade district, the random drive-by antics had thickened into a churning knot of humanity. Well, with all the other races mixed in, too, but you get the point. Never had I seen Stormwind so crowded and bustling. Usually, when the city is crowded, at least half the people are just standing around, waiting, looking, or chatting... but no. This time, dozens upon dozens of people scrambling like mad in every direction, like a freshly kicked anthill. It was enough to make you crosseyed.

I finally made it to the object of our lovelorn dwarf's desire, a cute Human girl (though it's hard to really get much meaning out of adjectives when all female humans share the exact same dimensions, proportions, and mass) out in the trade district plaza. I casually flipped the soot-stained valentine from the bearded forgemonkey at her, and noticed another new human nearby with another big yellow "!" over his head.

The guy turned out to be a real piece of work. He had noticed that, for some reason, people were acting funny ("Gee, you don't say," I thought, as another 50 people bustled and jostled around me). He was worried that whatever was going on would affect the city guards as well, leaving Stormwind vulnerable to attack, or crime, or whatever. So off I went to check it out, at his bequest.

I found a nearby guard, looking for all the world as normal as usual in her white and blue Stormwind armor and tabard, but when I spoke to her she made a comment on my smell. Beg pardon? I've mushed people under my big bad hammer for less than that! But the comment was that she might be a lot more "interested" in me if I might dab on some cologne.

And wouldn't you know it, enterprising individuals that they are, the innkeepers had suddenly started stocking cologne (and perfume for the ladies, and little valentine gift cards).

So I stocked up, spritzed myself with some toilet water, and immediately was jacked in to the Matrix of Love.

I could see it. There was something in this stinkjuice I just squirted on myself that allowed me to detect the ardor of those around me. The seemingly "random" visitations of the sloshing masses wasn't random at all, it was a mad scramble to see who could first get to each conquest as he or she came into heat. And let me tell you, buddy, all of Stormwind was one big Red Light District, and business was booming. I went back to the guard I spoke to earlier, to suddenly have her gush all over me and shower me with adoration and a smartly packed valentine box containing all kinds of junior-high tokens of affection. There were handfuls of rose petals to throw, cupid arrows, friendship bracelets, and to top it all off a big cardboard valentine card like the one Lisa Simpson gave Ralph Wiggum: "I choo choo choose you" (or so I imagined it said).

Armed with this evidence, I returned to Silas B. Worrywart to confirm his worst fears: the guards were now not so much as patrolling the streets as they were "cruising for love."

The next few hours are difficult to sort out, but it involved cologne, valentines, and a whole string of anonymous Stormwind denizens. All I have to say is, the cobblestone streets of Stormwind must have excellent drainage, given my activities and the fact that a couple hundred other folk were up to exactly the same shenanigans. But at the end, I had great big boxes and bags full of cards, letters, and homemade baked goods, which for some reason I was inexplicably compelled to pack together in one gigantic yet easy to handle package. A catalogued and compiled locker of evidence of my "conquest" of Stormwind, or at least the fairer half of it.

And yet there was more. The same unknown source of knowledge that bade me pack my trophies into organized stacks and then into a single container labeled "Stormwind" also hinted that similar situations were afoot in the other capitals of the Alliance.

With this startling epiphany, it was back to Ironforge as fast as a clanky tram could carry me.

I found that, while slightly less crowded, Ironforge was in a similar state of amorous activity. Compelled by the desire to not leave a job unfinished, I set about putting together an "Ironforge" box to keep with my "Stormwind" box. But I ran into an interesting, and rather awkward, obstacle.

Have you ever, once in your life, seen a female guard in Ironforge?

After a quick lap of "making the rounds" in the concentric subterranean city, It occurred to me that my visitations were all to civilians, and that my box would not be filled until I had an equal number of prizes claimed from the constabulary.

But there are no female guards, I argued with myself.

And I paused on that reflection.

There are no female guards in Ironforge...

So... what do they do to pass the long, cold, snowy northern nights when all the players have shuffled off to bed? Could it be possible that the most rugged and manliest of races perhaps had a military reminiscent to that of ancient Greece?? Perish the thought! But... what if it were true? Maybe that busybody in Stormwind really was on to something. Who knows what kind of tawdry wormcans I would open in the course of my investigation.

Steeled by the clarion call of duty, I resolved that I must grudgingly see for myself.

One bottle of perfume, a big stack of valentines and a lifetime of shame later, I found I couldn't fit anything else into my Ironforge package, nor could I ever look another Ironforge guardsman in the face again.

So what do you do, when you've just spent an evening emasculating yourself by flirting with bearded dwarves? You go away. Far away. And if possible, do something immediately to reassure yourself of your own masculinity.

So, I found myself arriving in the night elf capital of Darnassus, with a quiet little hope that the situation would be similar, and a great deal of mental images of stern-looking nuns from paladin school scolding me for my behavior and impure thoughts.

Not only had the valentine affliction spread easily to the already-sexual-imagery-soaked shores of Teldrassil, but an acute shortage of adventurer traffic had created a sizeable army of lovelorn, desperate elf girls.

The remainder of this section is self-censored for fear of losing my paladin license. But if there is a sudden rash of short elf children with copious facial hair in the near future, you don't know a damned thing, you got that?

So by the end of the trip, I staggered back into my home neighborhood in Ironforge, drained, disheveled and even a little tender. But for my, er, efforts... I had amassed a giant box of cards, letters, and handmade tokens of affection from every corner of alliance territory.

Which has been seized and is labeled exhibits A through Q in my excommunication trial.

Anybody got a minute to be a character witness?

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Friday, February 09, 2007

Sic Transit Mammarus


We'll miss you, ladies.

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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Late to the MacroParty

Back when I originally played WoW, I was a UI purist. I believed that anybody who was adding anything in to the default Blizzard User Interface was either lazy or looking for a cheat.

I've matured since then.

I've come to realize just how inadequate the basic interface is, especially considering some of the addons out there. But the problem is, as the title says, I'm late to the party. I missed out on the "Golden Age" of the addon.

There were addons for everything. Addons that kept track of who needed to be buffed in your 40 person raid. Who needed healing. Buttons for automatically healing who needed healing worst, and with the most level- and speed-appropriate healing spell from your book based upon the urgency of his need and the state of your mana supply. Addons that dynamically changed a button you would hit over and over again to be the most advantageous attack for the moment based on your position/energy level/number of combo points. And on and on.

But somewhere around version 2.0.0, Blizzard decided that these Macros and UI enhancements were doing too much of the playing FOR the player. So they told every single addon maker that they were changing everything about how the UI addons would work, and specifically that during combat, no addon or macro would be able to make an intelligent decision for the player.

Frankly, I'm surprised a lot of people didn't quit over it. Well, I suppose it is WoW... so maybe I shouldn't have expected anybody to quit playing. However, a number of modders did seem to throw in the towel.

But anyway, for me, the last few nights have been an excercise in raised and dashed hopes as I got Addon after Addon promising to make my experience so much smoother and more efficient... only to find they went obsolete with 2.0.0.

I guess I can see why Blizzard decided to do it, and the vestiges of the UI-Puritan left in me from back a year or two ago is huffing at me in disdain that of course people shouldn't have these wonderful labor-saving devices that basically reduced the playing of any given class to pressing one key over and over again.

But I still feel like I showed up to the party after all the fun was already had.

And that's the word from bandit camp.
..

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Saturday, February 03, 2007

My Father Sent Me This

I wonder if he's trying to tell me something.

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Friday, February 02, 2007

Sometimes it Sucks, Always Being Right

Computer, "Delete Star Dot Star."

http://blogs.zdnet.com/Ou/?p=418

Even in my low expectations, I can't believe MS thought that a default system of voice control would be a good idea. I mean, hell, Dilbert covered this years and years ago when Wally walked by Dilbert's cubicle and yelled "DELETE.. FILE!!"

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Postal: The Movie

Uwe Boll is back, making another gawdoffal movie from a video game that never had any business being made into a movie.

http://kotaku.com/gaming/uwe-boll/clip-uwe-bolls-grosser-postal-trailer-232759.php

I think I just threw up a little. And that was even before the part with the gratuitous weenie shot.

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Monday, January 29, 2007

Mista Vista, he dead.


The digital tubes of teh INTARWEB are all in a tizzy about the release of Microsoft's latest monolithic monstrosity: Windows Vista. Some herald it (because of the Vista-exclusive DirectX 10) as the panacaea for PC Gaming that will keep the PC up to par with the latest gen of consoles, if not surpass them.

Frankly, I'm not sure the PC is in the terrible position of "needing saving," but that's an argument everybody's already made their mind up on one way or the other.

Me, I've got a bad taste in my mouth. Windows 1.0 was crap, and so was 2.0... it wasn't until Windows 3.11 for workgroups that it found its legs. Then came windows 95... which was crap until around Service Pack 2. Windows 98 was passable with drawbacks, which got largely addressed in Second Edition. Windows Me was so bad it died an ignominious death before a major patch could address its onorous issues. XP at launch was a nightmare of security holes and bluescreens, which were fixed up by the first and second service packs.

Are we seeing the pattern yet? This is why, in my personal vocabulary, the phrase "Early Adopter" is synonymous with "Gullible Nitwit."

So, given that every single MS operating system is a cataclysm at launch, I think I'll cool my heels here on my perfectly stable XP installation while the Early Adopters get their headaches and ulcers paying Microsoft to beta test the new OS.

But, at this point, I'm honestly not sure I'll ever feel good about Vista.

There is some very scary shit I've been reading about Vista's embedded DRM management. The idea that my computer (as a proxy for the vilest humans on earth, the MPAA and the RIAA) will decide what I can and cannot view on my own computer is so anathema to me that any graphic description of regurgitative bodily processes could not be hyperbole. I never upgraded past Windows Media Player 7 because that's about when they started sticking DRM controls into it. I hate DRM that much.

Well, we'll see what happens over the next couple months. I'm sure those good and righteous champions of the end user, the software pirates [1] [2] [3] will eventually find and incapacitate the more odious portions of the software.

And that's the word from bandit camp...

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Sunday, January 28, 2007

Warsong Gulch is SERIOUS BUSINESS

Alright, let's just say right up front that if you don't care about World of Warcraft, you probably won't care about this entry.

Now then...

As I mentioned, the launch of the new WoW expansion has gone remarkably smoothly. I've started over with new toons on a new server... a PVP server in fact. I've come to realize that one of the reasons I got so bored of WoW before was that I was 100% safe when I wanted to be. Not knowing when some slobbering orc played by a remarkably similar person at the keys might jump on me and beat the ever-living bodily fluids out of me adds an extra edge to the game that I haven't felt since the old days of Rallos Zek back in EQ.

But while the possibility of being ambushed and juiced like a california orange is ever-present, it's also actually somewhat uncommon. The reason? The Battlegrounds.

See, there are material rewards for PVP, in the form of better-than-average gear. The currency of PvP victory is "Honor," but honor alone isn't enough to buy the nifty trinkets everybody wants. You also must have these tokens you get from participating in battleground fights. You get one of these token thingies if your side loses, but you get more if you win. So you trade in a combination of "honor" and these tokens for the Ubergear of your dreams. So, merely jumping newbies out in the bush while they try to quest, while it may satisfy your inferiority complex, won't get you gear. So WoW rewards players who "keep their game on the court" so to speak, in that they PvP themselves to exhaustion in the battlegrounds, which cuts down on the amount of "let's make life hell for the newbies" that gets played.

So, obviously, these battlegrounds are classed out into level brackets. Being that I just started over, obviously I'm in the low bracket. The lowest there is: The level 10-19 bracket of Warsong Gulch.

This level bracket brings all kinds... the raw, bewildered noob who barely wears enough gear to keep from freezing to death, the casual gamer, the powergamer, and even the most reviled: the twink. A twink might only be level 19, but he's owned by a player who has at least one much more powerful character... and the finances of that more powerful character have been funneled into the twink. Think of it like a corporate sponsor putting their F1 racer in the lineup down at your local go-kart track.

I feel bad for the noobs. I really do. I see plenty of level 10 ragamuffins in crap equipment who have absolutely no chance, and no sane reason to be there on the battlefield. They don't even slow the enemy down any more than one more blade of grass slows down a lawn mower. The truth of the matter is they need to get their asses back to ambushing livestock, gathering fruit, and all those other newbie quests until they're at least level 17 and have some noteworthy armor/weapons/spells. All they are doing is taking up a valuable slot in a team that could be used for a competent player (each round of this particular battle limits each side's army to 10 characters). But I understand why they are out there; they are excited, and they want to play... they want to help out and fight the bad guys and revel in the glory, just like all the other players. So I cut them slack. I'm a laid back kinda guy after all.

I almost said that with a straight face.

Seriously, I just ignore the noobs and treat them as a needed handicap, because frankly I'm so awesome. Not a twink, but I definitely have opened quite a few cans of whoopass over the last week or two in particular.

Oh, but the twinks... the twinks cannot SUFFER the presence of a noob. At least, they cannot suffer in silence...

The chat line is often clogged by the half-literate ramblings of neon-clad glowing simpletons in gear so expensive it could have raised ethiopia out of economic depression if sold on the open market. Mostly the content of their nearly-illegible communiques are either demands for strategic leadership ("Give me the flag and get out of my way, except healers, they heal only me") or bilious condemnations of those who the twink believes have cost him victory (which is largely unprintable, even here).

To reinject some perspective here... there is, at any given time, 2 or 3 dozen battleground fights going simultaneously. These fights last maybe a half hour, longer for good matches, shorter for the more one-sided ones. A casual evening of PVP has me seeing at least 4 or 5 of these matches alone. You win some, you lose some. But woe betide anyone in the chat channel if there's a twink who is on the losing side of a match. And somehow, these guys are not all that keen to examine their own performance, either.

I'm just glad I don't have to sit in Teamspeak or Ventrilo with these clowns. I'm sure it sounds something like this.

And that's the word from bandit camp.
..

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Monday, January 22, 2007

Gamer History Lesson: Origin of the Word "Catass"

IMO, this word should be in every online gamer's lexicon.


http://www.metroactive.com/papers/metro/06.01.00/cover/onlinegames1-0022.html


The Surreal World

What happens when living an online fantasy life becomes an obsession? Strange things.

By Hayes Reed

THE STORIES HAD BEGUN TO SURFACE about a year ago. Our buddy had lost it. At 24, he had seemingly given up. No job. SUV on its last leg. No girlfriend. Filthy apartment. Ugliness.

My friends and I would see him from time to time. He'd show up for a poker game or drop by during Christmas. He looked bad, unwashed. His clothes, indistinguishable from those he wore in high school, looked worn and hung loosely from his lanky frame. When asked what he was up to, his response was often a pathetic, "I'm done ... It's all over for me."

Legend had it that our friend had traded his citizenship in everyday reality for total immersion in a virtual world, a video game known as Ultima Online. I needed to see for myself what his life had become. This turned out to be easier said than done, however--three months' worth of emails and phone calls went unreturned.

Finally, one evening I came home to find a flashing red light on my answering machine. The message contained only one word, a word spoken with the irritated tone of a man who had given up running away.

"Bastard," he said, and then hung up the receiver. It was Tyson Smith. I had tracked him down.


Virtually Obsessed

TYSON MET ME at the door but said little. Inside his dark and foul apartment, I was met by the distinct pungency of cat urine. The place was a mess. Boxes, magazines and clothes covered the unfurnished living-room floor. A table, on top of which sat two glowing monitors, filled the dining area. Fighting allergic reaction, I found a seat (stained) and watched through tearing eyes as house cats of varying dimension and color ran through the place. A yellow tabby bellowed loudly from the small concrete patio outside.

"Shut up!" Tyson screamed in response. He then explained, "The little one's in heat. These cats are driving me crazy."

After quitting a fairly lucrative job as an MCI customer service rep more than a year ago, Tyson has spent his savings and now lives on unemployment. Since he left his job, the only constant in his life has been a video game known as Ultima Online. It was 9pm on a Friday, and Tyson had already been logged on for the better part of the day.

He looked emaciated and sickly. Gray circles surrounded his eyes. For a guy his age, he simply did not look right. I asked him whether he was eating. He motioned to the processed cheese and tortilla chips scattered around his PC but admitted he hadn't eaten that day.

"I don't eat, dude," he said. "I'm what you call a 'weekly poo-er.'"

"I hate to be the one to tell you this," I told him, "but your life sucks."

"No," he quipped in response, "your life sucks. With your diamond rings and your cell phones ... your forks and knives. You think you're so cool." We both laughed, but the situation was unmistakably bad. Tyson was living a junkie's lifestyle and jonesing for a high delivered by a video game.


The Game

ONLY THREE YEARS after its release, Ultima has proven to be one of the most successful online role-playing games ever released. Selling off the shelf for about $30, Ultima then requires gamers to pay a monthly fee of $9.95 to log on and play a real-time part in a landscape reminiscent of Dungeons and Dragons. In Ultima, thousands of people can log on and interact at once. A chat room and adventure game rolled into one, the game can be entertainingly addictive.

According to Origin Systems Inc., the game's creator, Ultima currently attracts more than 150,000 players across three continents. Players log into a virtual world known as Britannia, a color-rich, two-dimensional landscape filled with knights, sorcerers, oceans and cities. The island of Britannia is also a "persistent world," meaning that if your virtual horse runs away today, it'll be gone tomorrow, too. Castles can be built, battles can be fought and virtual lives can be lost, all with permanent ramifications.

Once you have chosen a virtual character to represent you on this lively continent, your next task is to get a job, and quick. Britannia is a land humming with commerce, awash with virtual swordsmen, tailors, fishermen, animal tamers and murderous thieves. People come to the game to participate in a unique economy and social structure--players form guilds, wage war and, in some unfortunate cases, actually spend hours fishing.

The goal of the game, if it can be described as such, is to gain power and respect, and ultimately to wield influence over your fellow players. How one goes about gaining that power is up to the individual player. Anything from fashioning virtual armor to baking virtual pies can earn you Britannian gold and have an impact on this increasingly complex marketplace.

The real weight of this new economy is being measured on websites such as eBay. After a quick search, you can find everything from Britannian gold pieces to castle deeds for sale, with prices often topping the $1,000 mark. Entire accounts may also be transferred, allowing a new player to step into a character that has already been built up over a series of months or even years. According to Origin, the price tag for certain coveted accounts can approach $3,000.

The New York Times Magazine took notice of this growing market last summer when it commented on the fact that the Britannian gold-to-dollar exchange rate had surpassed that of the Italian lira. Even Rick Hall, an Ultima Online producer, is surprised by the game's emerging economy. "Games like Ultima Online are crossing the boundary," said Hall. "We've discovered that UO's economy reacts in many ways like a real economy. Believe it or not, we have to be careful that changes to the game don't devalue Britannian gold. It's simply amazing."

It is a game in which thousands of people from around the world are working, playing, hunting, fishing and making friends. It is also a game that requires colossal dedication from its players. As Tyson put it, "It's really all about status."

And status on Ultima Online don't come easy.

Enter the Iron Monkey

THIS IS TYSON'S WORLD. In it, he is Iron Monkey, the grand master of a well-known guild, a master armor smith, owner of a nice three-story castle, several houses, a few boats and a number of highly valued horses. Tyson estimates that his Iron Monkey account is worth well over $1,500. I asked him how long it took to build the character.

"Well," he said, "I've been building Iron Monkey for about seven months."

How many hours a week, I wondered aloud. Thirty hours?

"Way more."

Forty hours a week?

"More like 70. You've got to realize that this game is for retired guys, high school rejects, the unemployed ..."

When Iron Monkey rides into town on the back of Onyx (a rare black horse also known as a "nightmare"), you can immediately discern the level of respect afforded a powerful player. Other players surround him, attracted by his nightmare and unique blue armor.

"It's the way I dress," Tyson says. "I always draw a lot of attention."

But it's more than that. A character riding a nightmare into town is equivalent to someone parking a Lamborghini in front of Starbucks. It means that this is someone with power, wealth and clout. The other characters just quietly stand next to him, apparently waiting for him to speak.

Soon, a player calling himself Thorn approaches and asks Iron Monkey whether he has horses for sale. Iron Monkey then leads him to a public stable where he keeps a multitude of tamed animals. He dismounts and brings out a gray steed.

"Do you want this one?" Iron Monkey asks, the words floating above the tiny character's head.

"How much?" asks Thorn.

"Just take it."

Thorn climbs onto his new horse.

"cool thnx man."

"np =)"

"That's how you make a name for yourself here," Tyson tells me.

Rick Hall, the Ultima Online producer, might agree. "We've worked very hard at the social engineering in the game," he says. "Many, many features are specifically provided as a means of promoting friendships, interactions and community spirit. And, of course, once people have established friendships and communities, that's a strong reason to stay."

Unfortunately, not all Ultima players value the altruistic possibilities presented by the game. Player killers, or PKs, have posed a problem for Origin Systems since Ultima's debut. From the onset of the game, cities have served as safe zones, places where non-player (game-driven) characters serve as guards and come to the defense of crime victims. Anyone venturing outside a city, however, is on his own. Lose your life in Britannia, and you've also lost whatever your character was carrying, which can be a lot.

Murder for profit became so rampant when the game was first released that Origin programmers, or game masters, eventually made certain changes. In an attempt to inspire vigilante justice, murderous characters now appear red and may be killed by anyone, even within city safe-zones. While some feel that murder should be made impossible altogether, most players, in addition to the game's creators, feel that the ever-present possibility of being slaughtered makes Ultima "dynamic and exciting."

Even game-hardened veterans such as Iron Monkey steer clear of PKs. Aside from the fact they often belong to PK guilds, which as a gang can attack even the most powerful of characters, it is often just not worth the risk.

"Those guys all have cable modems or DSL lines," said Tyson, "I could have a bad connection and just get lagged out."

A bad Internet connection can cause a character to become helplessly frozen. Such occurrences can spell disaster, and this is something Tyson knows all too well.

Grail, the Silver Steed

TYSON RECOUNTED the story of Grail with heavy regret. "It was, without question," Tyson said, "the worst thing that happened to me in 1999." In a strange series of errors, it seems, an Origin game master accidentally released a number of creatures into Britannia that were never supposed to be introduced. Developed for Ultima's research and development test center server only, the silver steed was, by all accounts, a magnificent creature.

As soon as Tyson saw the horse as it wandered through a desolate area, he knew he had hit pay dirt. Iron Monkey quickly claimed the silver steed, using his long-practiced taming skills. He named the horse Grail. While all nightmares are capable of breathing fire and casting spells, this horse was unequaled in its power. By the time Tyson had figured out what he had captured, he also had heard about the mix-up and knew the game masters at Origin would be hunting for the misplaced steeds, deleting them from all servers.

"I knew I couldn't put Grail in a stable or in my castle," Tyson said. "The GMs were doing sweeps every night. So I logged off the game while I was sitting on the horse; that way the horse disappeared with Iron Monkey." The plan worked. For a gloriously short period, Iron Monkey seemed to be the sole owner of a silver steed.

"The thing was easily worth six or seven hundred dollars," Tyson reported.

"I would go into a town, and people would surround me, asking me if they could take screen captures of their characters standing next to me and Grail. That's how rare that horse was."

Sadly, however, the duo was not meant to be. While out looking to tame desert ostards (read: lizard/ostrich hybrids), Iron Monkey and Grail were coaxed into engaging in battle with an ophidian (read: snake person).

"I was basically showing off for these two other players," Tyson recalled, "being a real tough guy. And that's when I lagged out. My screen just went blank. My only hope at that point was that the guys I was with would cast a healing spell and resurrect me, but I guess they were just too taken aback by the whole ordeal."

By the time Tyson was able to log back on, Grail was dead, and Iron Monkey's corpse was being ransacked by his fellow citizens.

Iron Monkey was eventually resurrected. Grail, however, was gone. And so it goes in Britannia.


Killer Player: 'It's really all about status' is a mantra that some have taken to extremes in this online adventure that requires an insane amount of dedication from its devotees.

Logging On

I HIT THE Ultima website and was met with the disturbing news that my registration code had either expired or was already in use. After sending a couple of unanswered emails to my contacts at Origin, my next option became disturbingly clear. I had no choice but to return to Tyson's Den of Cat Ass and Murdered Time.

He answered his perpetually unlocked door with a mop of unwashed hair and baggy pajama bottoms. It was 4pm. He had been in Britannia all day. "I'm getting evicted," he said as he sat back down at Iron Monkey's controls. "My roommate's check bounced, and today's the last day of our three-day notice."

I consoled him for a bit and then relayed my own situation. Tyson went about setting me up with an auxiliary character he had named Phife; then he showed me some of the basic controls. Before leaving with his roommate to borrow rent money from a third party, Tyson took everything of value out of Phife's possession. Books of magical spells, armor, gold, silverware and various other pieces of junk were carefully clicked and dragged off Phife's body.

It went without saying that, in my novice hands, the character would be brutally killed and stripped of all belongings. Tyson did, however, leave me with a sword and some tips on how to engage in combat.

"After they kill you," he instructed, "you're going to become a ghost. You won't be able to talk, and everything will appear gray, so go back to town, and someone will resurrect you."

Then, suddenly, I was on my own.

Britannia is a big place. According to Origin, it would take a football field of monitors to display the entire continent. Even so, the place seems kind of crowded. Run in any direction for a couple of seconds, and you can't help but meet up with other players. But unlike a typical chat room, people don't really want to be bothered. Converse with a group at random, and you'll be treated as if you're interrupting, and most likely, you are.

These people are busy. They're chopping wood, killing goats, whatever. My attempts to start conversations were met with: "What do you want?" "What are you doing out here?" and "Why don't you know that?"

I quickly began to feel like a new kid in school. I felt awkward. I didn't know where to stand. I didn't know where to go. Occasionally, puddles of blood caught my eye. I decided to head for the library.

Most of the public buildings I entered had shelves of books. Double-click and the books opened up and could be scrolled through. At random, I picked up a book titled On the Diversity of Our Land by Lord Blackthorn. It turned out to be some sort of treatise on interspecies tolerance. An excerpt:

"Can we not regard ratmen, lizardmen and orcs as fellow intelligent beings with whom we share a planet? Why must we slay them on sight rather than attempt to engage them in dialog?"

Ugh. I dropped the book and headed outside. Behind a castle I noticed a group of players fighting a posse of ratmen. I drew my sword as quickly as I could and began stabbing one of the ratmen in the back. It was fun.

"I got it," said a character in a blue cape, chastising me for engaging one of his targets.

I then stood aside and watched as the computer-controlled ratmen were slaughtered, and the gold planted on them victoriously plundered. I felt a strange kinship with the dead ratmen, their bloody mouths agape. I, too, felt unwanted. Somehow, there seemed a quiet dignity in their virtual death.

I was alone and wanted to die. It would not prove difficult.

Death soon arrived in the form of a giant, two-headed troll. I happened to catch his wandering eyes as I strolled through a neat neighborhood of houses just outside of town. Sword in hand, I fought back, but proved meek resistance. Phife was subjected to a deadly rain of club blows and collapsed within seconds. The troll got my sword.

I did my best to guide Phife's ghost back into town, but Tyson's computer mouse suddenly would not cooperate. I took the thing apart and made the mistake of sticking my finger inside the most disgusting mouse the world has ever known. Hair. Grease. Food. Slime. Enough, I thought, as I washed my hands in the kitchen sink. I popped the mouse back together and headed for the door. I left the game defeated, but also with the realization that the game is really about player interaction, something that can't develop overnight.

Trapped

THE POWER of the game is in its community. Like any other place where people live, work, play and own property, its inhabitants have a vested interest in maintaining and building that community. The more you play, the less reason you ever have to leave. This fact is, to some degree, programmed into the game.

Tyson, for example, has a list of Ultima chores he must perform each week in order to maintain his account. If Iron Monkey fails to visit each of his properties and holdings, they will decay. A $1,000 castle without a dedicated owner will eventually crumble. It is actually an extremely clever human trap.

Ultima players, however, see things a bit differently.

On one Ultima-related website, a player calling himself "Delusion" had this to say about the game:

"... My community is centered around playing UO, but it's a lot more than that. It's people. People I love, people I hate, people with stories to tell ... and people I would miss greatly were they to disengage from our community. My community exists regardless of what servers are down or who's currently playing. My community plays a game called UO, [but] I'd prefer you not think of it as 'just a game.'"

From Tyson's point of view, the emotional highs and lows provided by the game are hardly different from real life.

"It's like when you finally find a nightmare, or finding a place where you can build a house after months of saving gold and searching," he said. "It's just the best feeling in the world."

Epilogue

SHORTLY BEFORE this story was completed, Tyson emailed me at work. His message read as follows: "well its official the second worst day in my life has arrived my nightmare is dead I'm too pissed to type out the story but ill tell ya late how it happened man I'm an idiot."

Several days later, I managed to get Tyson on the phone.

"It was a thief," Tyson recounted. "His name was Care Bear. He took something from me. I'm not sure what he took, but suddenly his character appeared gray to me, meaning that I was free to kill him. I wasn't going to stand there and just get punked."

Tyson ordered his nightmare to attack. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a trap. Care Bear was fast, probably a player with a DSL connection, and he led the horse outside of the city. There, a large group, perhaps a thief guild, lay in wait; they attacked Onyx and Iron Monkey. After Iron Monkey was killed, Tyson realized he was in real trouble.

"I jammed home," Tyson said. " I resurrected myself and went back. It took about 20 minutes for them to kill Onyx. I asked Care Bear why he did it, and he just laughed, telling me how stupid I was to risk a creature worth, like, 4 million gold."

"Well," I said, "maybe now's the time to quit. Onyx being killed could be a blessing in disguise. This could be your opportunity to walk away. Sell your account; get your car fixed. Get a new hobby, for Christ's sake."

"I know," he said. "It's just that I don't want to feel like I've wasted my time. I've got so much shit ... and I've got friends there ..."

"Seriously, man," I said, "either way, you've wasted your time. They've got you trapped."

"Yeah, they do," Tyson finally admitted. "That's what really pisses me off. The designers are geniuses."


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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

WoW:BC Launch Surprisingly Smooth

I must say, that I was pleasantly surprised by how (technically-wise) smooth the first day of Burning Crusade's launch was.

I have to be honest, I expected to patch for hours. I expected servers to be down, then up for a few minutes to come right back down again for another patch. I expected the expansion newbie zones to be clogged to unplayability...

Well, ok, that last one was nearly true, but as for the rest of it, smooth and slick as snot on a doorknob. Gotta give Blizzard the kudos for that... and up till now they've been seriously deficient in the kudos department.

Well, at any rate, there are a bajillion blood-elf noobers now unleashed upon Azeroth, and I'm one of them. And believe you me, being in a situation much like the one on the right did not do much for people's goodwill toward eachother. But, fortunately I got off early from work yesterday (bad, bad weather in Texas, as I'm sure you've heard), so I had a head start on most of the churning masses. So I made it to level 9 last evening.

So far, it looks good.

I just wish I was actually able to LOG IN to my level 50+ characters over on silver hand so I could see the other side of the dark portal... but that server is... well, reference the above picture AGAIN.

More to come when I experience more...

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Monday, January 15, 2007

Ghostbusters VG in the Works?

Check it out:

Article

From the look of it, I'd say it's a console game, which is a shame... if you ask me, it's the PC demographic which will be the most nostalgic about this old 80's movie.

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The Video Game Quiz

I am humbled. I consider myself (well, duh) a video game aficionado/expert, and I only scored an 88. Well, to be fair, there was a bunch of console crap...

http://www.bitpit.be/

Give it a shot yourself.

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Sunday, January 14, 2007

Blizzard Patches on a Sunday



You think somebody might have pointed out that it might kinda be a bad idea to roll out a fix on a sunday with insufficient testing... welp, par for the course... amazing how unconcerned a company can get when it is collecting 14.99 a month from over eight million people.

The forum thread about this is about 27 pages long thus far... but I'll save you the reading. It all goes pretty much like this:

"WTF BLIZARD oMG cnt u stop braking my gaem?!! KTHXBYE la~~~~"

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Friday, January 12, 2007

Interesting stats on Console Sales

Have a little read:

Wii outsells PS3 by almost 2:1 in the US - Pro-G

Everybody knew the PS3 was going to bomb, what with Sony's constant stream of bullshit and hubris, but I was surprised to find that the 360 was outselling the other two combined... I guess getting to market early really helped build up the market share.

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Next-Gen Consoles Explained

Saw this over at God Mode. All I can say, is it's just a brilliant metaphor.

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Wednesday, January 03, 2007

My New Toy: Chimei 221D Widescreen LCD

So yesterday, I finally joined the 21st century when my new monitor arrived. Previously, I had been using a pretty nice Compaq 21" CRT, but as I'm getting a new rig going, I wanted a nice widescreen LCD. I managed to find one for less than 300 bucks.

What I'm using now is the Chimei 221D 22" wide LCD monitor, and I'm really digging it. It is bright and beautiful, has both DVI and the old style VGA inputs, and at 5ms response time I have had no ghosting whatsoever. I'm really happy with it. Especially that it was 299.99 before the 100 buck Newegg gift certificate my friend and compatriot Josh (AKA "ppMcBiggs") got me for Christmas.

Of course, every piece of equipment has its caveats, and this one seems to have three:

1) The stand is a little on the light side. While providing adequate support for the monitor in most cases, the structure isn't as meaty as one might expect, and on an unstable platform the monitor could be prone to wobble. However, as I have a great big stable (and herniatingly heavy) oak corner-desk (also courtesy ppMcBiggs, incidentally) that isn't too much of a problem for me. Plus, it's got wall mounts, so there's always that option.

2) Some people are extremely picky about light leaking through, and this one has a little at the top... but you can only see it when the screen is totally black. When there's color all over the place (IE, playing a game or if you have a wallpaper) then it isn't an issue.

3) This is the one that gets me... there's no built-in enforcement of the 16:10 aspect ratio. Sure, a 1680x1050 desktop is really really nice, and the vast majority of the new games support widescreen resolutions, but I like a lot of old games, and their resolutions are all married to the old 4:3 CRT aspect ratio. Some LCDs have an option to keep the dimensions correct (kind of a reverse-letterbox, with the black stripes at the sides), but this isn't one of them. The picture gets stretched out to fill the whole screen, leaving the game looking a little warped. Fortunately, I'm in the process of getting an entire new machine built, and it will use this monitor... so I can play the games that support widescreen on my flashy new box, and my current box and its 21" CRT will play the older games just fine.

So, with the above things in mind, three hundred bucks for a 22" widescreen LCD with 5ms response time and 800:1 contrast ratio is a hella-sweet deal. Can't beat that.

And that's the view from bandit camp.
...

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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Warcraft Expansion Gold and Ready

Burning Crusade apparently is days since sent off for mass duplication and is allegedly on track to hit the shelves January 16th.

We'll just have to see if it lives up to all the expectations set by the mass amounts of hype it has generated. Personally, I'm not exactly looking forward to grinding 10 MORE levels to hit the new level 70 level cap... but maybe the content will make it so I don't even notice I'm exping. After all, that's what they did with the first half of the game. It was only after 45 or 50 or so that it turned into a boring grindfest for me.

Also, we'll see how the new PvP goes... I sure hope it's better than it was over a year ago when last I quit the game.

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Friday, December 29, 2006

Voyage Century Online: First Look

While playing Urban Dead today, I stumbled on an advertisement for a classical-nautical MMORPG... I'm a sucker for that sort of thing. And looking into it, Voyage Century Online was FREE to play! This both encouraged me AND set off warning bells... as my recent experience with Space Cowboy Online reminded me you usually get what you pay for. Nevertheless, I entered their open beta and downloaded the client, a svelte 1gb zipped up.

After a little effort, I got the game installed and created a character, who I named Blackjack_LeGatt, since underscores seemed to be allowed while spaces were not.

However, upon entering the game, I found to my consternation that the vast majority of the text of this game is much, much too tiny to be legible. Add to this that the resolution of the game is uncompromisingly 1024x768, and, well, there wasn't a whole lot I could read.

Fortunately, the controls were pretty easy to learn... left click to do something, right click to go somewhere, camera controls were a little clunky but a far cry better than, say, Neverwinter Nights.

So, after managing to decipher a little text, I set about on a newbie quest to build myself a small boat.

It took me a good 15 minutes to find the stupid boat builder guy, who was all of 10 yards from my position.

Anyway, I eventually got it done. And, shortly thereafter, a bit of blind stumbling and a few more pages of illegible text and I had somehow joined a Pirate-hunter NPC guild, trained myself to shoot a flintlock pistol, and managed to stomp a harmless turtle to death. I also discovered that it was far more lucrative to just collect shells that were lying around on the beach than to actually kill critters for their... well, whatever it is that critters drop.

One thing I will say for the game, they're generous with tutorials and startup cash for n00bz. I had plenty to get me started, though I could only understand half of what was going on because the text was smaller than this. Oy. Smaller than that by a factor of about 3.

The models are all beautiful, incidentally, and the outfits are nice and the towns have a really immersive feel. If only I could communicate in letters more than a millimeter high.

The game appears to be rather robust, with both personal and nautical combat, adventuring, exploring, sailing, cannon-blasting, critter smushing, and tradeskills. Indeed, when I stumbled into the suburbs of Athens (yes, Greece... that's the city where I started, incidentally), I found all kinds of people going about their crafting ways, including three people chopping away at a never-falling tree. The streets were jammed with players who had set up vendor stands to sell things that other players might want, provided they can read what the hell they are.

Are you sensing that the size of the text is grating on me a little?

I noticed a few humorous glitches, like the tendency for the sun or moon to suddenly scramble across the sky like a stage actor who just realized he was supposed to be stage LEFT, not stage right.. and when that happens, all the shadows of the players and objects crane around rapidly like the heads of a Wimbledon audience.

Anyway, after an hour or so of wandering through town oogling pirate chicks in their undergarments and getting the feel for things, I decided to see what it was like out on the high seas. The process of joining the anti-pirate league or whatever seemed to provide me with a 2-masted ship, so I headed to the docks to figure out what to do from there.

A couple clicks, and I was offshore of Athens. The controls seemed easy enough, until suddenly I found myself anchored. It seemed to happen right as another ship materialized inside MY ship... he sailed off, but it took me a full 5 minutes to figure out how to get moving again.

Anyway, the sea is beautiful, and after a few little growing pains, control seems easy enough... so I sailed around looking for something to do.

I couldn't figure out much offshore of Athens (though I found a shoal where fishing could be done, had I the proper equipment)... so I sailed back IN to port, and then chose to sail directly to the "high seas"... which then zoomed me out into a quasi-corny map that reminded me a lot of FF7.

I managed to gain 2 levels in seamanship just floating there while I typed the above sentence. I continued to screw around until I was forced to return to port for provisions. Restocked, I sailed out to the high seas again, determined to find something to blast with my four tiny little cannons.

At first, it was hard to find anything, but as luck would have it I stumbled upon what appeared to be floating debris in the water. It turned out to be mostly waterlogged cargo, and some cannon balls. How I managed to find FLOATING cannonballs, I'll just let you figure out.

I finally managed to find some Crete pirates, but after exchanging one broadside, they just kept sailing... guess I wasn't very interesting. A second encounter yielded much the same result, and I was starting to wonder if I was doing something incredibly dumb. But I persevered, and managed to catch up to the ship by cutting slightly more to the wind (he was sailing directly upwind, the dummy)... a few minutes of swapping cannonfire, and he eventually sank into the briny. I wheeled around and dragged in the wreckage to find 3 pounds or tons or palettes or whatever the unit of measurement is, of Dates. And it only cost the lives of around six of my crew :P For some reason, my ship repaired itself immediately at the end of combat.

In high spirits, I sailed my way back to Athens, my hold slightly LESS empty now, with the dates I dredged from the smuggler I sank. Imagine my chuckle when the half-drenched crap I pulled from the random debris sold for around the same amount as the dates. And even put together, it didn't match the amount I spent on provisions and how much cannonshot I flung out into the Mediterranean sea. 3 minutes gathering shells on the beach seemed to clear as much profit at the end of the endeavor. Ah well, I'm sure I'm just not doing something right.

Well, all in all it has the potential to be an interesting game, especially for free. Better than SCO anyway. If only they'd do something about the TEENY TINY chat font. But what the hell... free game, right?

Rating: C. And that's the word from bandit camp
...

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Thursday, December 28, 2006

Vaporware of 06

Wired has published their list of "Vaporware of 2006", and while I don't often read the trite periodical in question, I must admit this column piqued my interest. And I had to chuckle at who got the number one spot on the list yet again.

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