Zero Punctuation Reviews - Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles

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So yeah, Vegas pretty much blew chunks

I spent most of the remaining time before I had to return home laid up in bed, though I did get to have a few fun forays out... all in all, it was not a good trip.

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Vegas = Teh Suck.

I don't know what the hell I did to deserve this kind of karmic payback, but I tell you I must have had some kind of blacked-out psychotic episode and murdered countless orphans for me to deserve what I've been through today... (click read full article)

As I write this, the time is 11:39 central. PM. I've been either in airports or on planes for the last 12 hours, all for a trip that was supposed to take around 5.

I'm headed for vegas, for two nights of fun with my old man and his youngest brother, and their wives. The schedule went thusly - Wake up at 8:30am central, to be ready to go by 9:30, to get to the airport by 10:15 for check in and security, for a plane that departs at 11:15, which connects through houston to get me to Las Vegas at 4:30pm mountain time. Have dinner and see a show with the others, maybe gamble a little, and get a good night's rest.

Well, first thing that happens is I oversleep. Of all the days to oversleep. I even set my alarm. I guess my body just doesn't like being out of bed before 10 on a weekend. But, even though I woke up at 9:30 I still got to the airport by 10:45 and skipped the line by using the automated check-in booth.

11:15 rolls around and my plane still hasn't even arrived yet.

I head up there to find out what the deal is, are we delayed? If so, shouldn't be too much of a problem, I've got a 2 hour layover in Houston, so...

The board flips to "Cancelled."

Ok. We're calm, we can handle this. I talk to the nice people at Continental and they see what they can do for me. The next flight to houston? Oooooh sorry, that just filled up. The one after that? Sure, here you go. Now, that'll make you miss your connection, so we'll book you on the flight AFTER that to vegas, and you should be arriving around 5:30. Ok, not too bad. I glance at the ticket and see "2:40pm".

It doesn't even click in my head, the math I mean. I decide to go get something to eat, cause Breakfast was one of the things I had to skip to get to the airport in time for my cancelled flight. I have a pleasant lunch, and arrive back at the airport at 2 for a leisurely boarding process. I head to security, the TSA agent looks at my boarding pass and says "sir, this flight left 5 minutes ago." What? That can't be, it leaves at 2:40. "No, sir, it ARRIVES at 2:40. It departed at 1:55."

I look at the ticket again.

Well, Son of a bitch.

I'd be mad, but I can't. Because I look like an idiot. Let me tell you something, loyal readers (yes, both of you), the Gas Bandit does not often look like a moron. This is the first time I missed a flight, ever.

Ok, we're calm. We go back to the ticket counter. We explain what a dips%@# we are. We ask if there's anything that can be done.

Of course there is... the next one leaves... at 4:50pm. My groaning at that being 20 minutes later than I was supposed to be IN vegas is stifled by me remembering I've just been the world's least competent traveller for 2 hours. Ok, wonderful. I'll take it. This should get me into Vegas at 7:30. That's not too bad, only 3 hours late. A small bit of penance for being such a dumbass.

Not wanting to chance my own dumbassery again, I stay in the airport this time. 2 and a half hours fly by with free wireless. I get on the plane, we fly, I'm in houston. Ok! Back on track!

I take the shuttle from Concourse A to Concourse C, and find my gate. Something's wrong, it still says "Austin" on it. I turn around to find the big board. The plane that is supposed to depart at 6... now says departing at 7. Oooh, ouch. Well, this is why I have a laptop.

This is where I discover that Houston George Bush Intercontinental Airport is the only airport I've ever been in that charges for wireless. 10 freakin bucks a day. No way. I've bent over for a lot today, but I'm not taking a 10 dollar wireless suppository. I can kill an extra hour without the internet. No, my fingers aren't shaking.

Fortunately, I brought my wireless guitar controller, and the laptop of course has a fully loaded copy of the RF-Modded Frets On Fire, with all 4 guitar hero games plus more. I whip the axe out, and am the subject of airport patron scrutiny for an hour. I look up at the board. "6:00pm to Vegas ---DELAYED--- 8:00pm." Son of a....

"weather," the guy next to me explains. Figures.

More guitar hero. Now the big board says "9:00pm departure." You have got to be kidding me. A lady in the row behind me calls somebody she knows in vegas. Vegas person says the weather is beautiful. Wuh... tuh... fuh?

Well, fortunately I guess that imaginary thunderstorm over the Las Vegas desert clears up and they board us at 9pm. I'm not even bothering to calculate arrival times any more. I've had a sinus infection recently, the sudafed is wearing off, and for a sunday night flight to vegas this plane is looking packed. I try to call my father, but his cell phone has the worst reception since Martians ate Beagle-1. I think he understands that I'm just now boarding in houston.

So here it is, approaching midnight (or 11pm Vegas time), and it feels like we're descending. Thank goodness my ears are popping. I guess lady karma finally took pity on me and didn't want me to rupture an eardrum today.

Soon we'll be on the ground, and it'll obviously take a good half hour to get off the plane because it's so jam packed. I don't know if I have the energy. I'm tired and a little dizzy and sniffling and trying not to cough.

Oh, and the in-flight movie was that "Rock" vehicle where the football player discovers he has an 8 year old daughter. And I didn't bring any of my media DVDs, because who needs movies on a laptop in vegas, right?

The walk through the las vegas airport is half stampede, half acid trip because I'm tired and starting to feel really light headed and dizzy. I don't even bother to stop and see if there's wireless, as it's almost midnight. Somehow I find the right shuttle bus, and get a ride to Bally's.

Bally's is staffed by a bunch of penguins. They didn't know my father's name, or my name. I find a payphone and find out to call a non-local cell phone costs four and a half bucks. F@#$ that noise. Fortunately a nearby machine vends phone cards. I buy a ten dollar one... try to call my father. No dice. I try to call my Uncle. No dice. Not only no dice but money is sure as hell disappearing from the card faster than the advertised 12.5 cents a minute. I read the teeny tiny fine print on the back of the card, and find out there's a 99 cent fee for using a payphone, and a 69 cent "connection fee" right on top of that. How freaking dishonest is that? And for that matter, who the hell buys a phone card for use anywhere OTHER than a payphone? Kind of negates the whole point.

So I decide, well, I'm on my own. So I go back to the front desk and just try to get a room, ignoring my father's reservation. They tell me the hotel is full. A full hotel on a sunday night. Wow. Somebody out there is punishing me big time.

I'm getting less and less steady on my feet. it's now 1:30 am, I try another call to my uncle, and father (half the 10 dollar card is now used up), and then I head back to sit in the lobby. I just need to rest a minute before I head outside and try to find somewhere, anywhere, with a bed and a roof to sleep. 5 minutes later karma cuts me a break and my uncle walks in. It takes me a minute to realize it isn't a fever dream.

Anyway, Unca Bandit fills me in on the story. I'm not the only one who had airplane troubles. Seems bad weather also grounded my Dad's plane in new mexico somewhere (how that happened, with New Mexico being not very on the way from colorado to nevada, I do not know yet), and they are having to drive. They are still on the road as I type this.

So Unca Bandit knows the score with the rooms. They're under my stepmother's name (which is different from my father's because they're both doctors and they need to differentiate on mail and phone calls). He has the super sekrit skwirrel code to get me one of the rooms, but as Dad hasn't arrived yet I'll foot the bill myself.

At this point all I want to do is check my e-mail, turn on the TV and pass out for 12 hours and pray I don't wake up with a fever. But I get to my room, and guess what... neither the TV, nor the Ethernet Jack work. I think Bally's must be the only hotel on the strip without wireless.

Convinced that ONE THING is going to get resolved tonight, I call down to the desk and they say they'll send up an engineer. He just now figured out the problem, a bad power strip mounted under the table that feeds all the electronics in my room. He bypasses it, and goes off to find a new power strip.

I get the juice going on the ol' 10-base-T RJ45... and am staring at a ELEVEN NINETY FIVE PER DAY useage charge.

Oy. Hopefully tomorrow will be enough awesome to make up for this. If I can get out of bed.

Worst. Vacation. Ever.

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IF "Money > 0" THEN GOTO Vegas();

Gas Bandit's goin' to Lost Wages today. I'll be back Wednesday night, with updates to resume thursday. Watch out now!

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Off Topic Friday #19 - Apparently I can beat 23 5-year-olds

23

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Wii/PC Based VR Head Tracking

This is actually pretty damn cool.

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Zero Punctuation Reviews - The Witcher

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WoW Patch 2.3.2/2.3.3 Patch Notes

No, I still don't play. But hey, it's gaming news to 10 million active subscribers, so here it is. (click Read Full Article)

World of Warcraft Client Patch 2.3.3

The latest patch notes can always be found at http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/patchnotes/

The latest test realm patch notes can always be found at http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/patchnotes/test-realm-patchnotes.html

General

• Some players may notice improved data load times when newly entering the world and after zoning into new areas.
• Character/NPC load times have been decreased, and now should appear faster. You’re not hearing voices, there really are people in Shattrath!

Bug Fixes

• Felspine the Greater in Shadowmoon Valley will no longer evade when engaged.
• Gutripper in Nagrand will no longer evade when engaged.
• Players will now be correctly credited with their arena points if they purchase an arena item during weekly arena calculations.
• Using a castsequence macro on a target moving out of range will no longer cause it to stop working.

World of Warcraft Client Patch 2.3.2 (1/8/2008)

The latest patch notes can always be found at http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/patchnotes/

The latest test realm patch notes can always be found at http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/patchnotes/test-realm-patchnotes.html

General

• /timetest is a command that can be run to provide information on game performance. /timetest 0 turns the command off. When the command is issued, the next time a player uses a flight master to travel, certain statistics will be measured and displayed at the end of that flight. All weather effects and spawns are shutdown during the test.
• Effects triggered from being critically hit: Many abilities and talents were changed in 2.3.0 to allow them to trigger from critical strikes that occurred while the player benefitting from them was sitting. These abilities once again do not trigger if the victim is sitting.
• Quest givers with blue question marks no longer show up on the minimap.
• NPC's who you have completed a quest for will display a question mark on mouseover rather than an exclamation point.
• The bank controls for the guildmaster level of a guild is now grayed out. A guildmaster always has full access to a guild bank and this cannot be changed.
• A "Withdraw-Repair Only" button has been added to the guild bank controls. If this is set for a guild rank, then that rank cannot actually withdraw funds from the guild bank, but they can still use that daily amount of money for repairs.
• You will now automatically stand up when attacked, even if the attack doesn’t land.
• Reduced network latency by disabling the Nagle algorithm.

Druids

• Lifebloom: When this ability is refreshed it will take on the strength of the incoming Lifebloom effect, rather than maintain the existing strength.
• Ravage: The damage multiplier on this ability has been increased from 350% to 385%.

Hunters

• Arcane Shot: Ranks 1-5 will once again deal bonus damage based on attack power.
• Aspect of the Viper effect increased.
• Freezing Trap is no longer limited to one target at a time.
• Pet leveling speed has been increased.

Mages

• Cold Snap (Frost) cooldown reduced. It is now in the Ice Block position in the talent tree. This ability will no longer reset the cooldown on Fire Ward.
• Conjure Mana Gem mana restore variance substantially reduced,(Rank 5 – Emerald) now restores 2340 to 2460 mana and has three charges.
• Ice Block (Frost) is now available on the trainer to all mages at level 30.
• Icy Veins (NEW Frost Talent) decreases casting time of all spells by 20% and increases the chance your chilling effects will freeze the target by 10%. Lasts 20 sec. 3 min cooldown. It is now in the Cold Snap position in the talent tree.

Paladins

• Crusader Strike (Retribution) now causes 110% of weapon damage and no longer gains any bonus from spell damage.
• Righteous Fury: This spell will no longer cost twice the listed mana to cast.
• Sanctified Judgements (Retribution) now returns 80% of the Seal's mana cost, increased from 50%.

Rogues

• Ambush: The damage multiplier on this ability has been increased from 250% to 275%.
• Cheat Death: When multiple attacks land simultaenously, all those resolved after the attack which triggered Cheat Death will now have their damage reduced by 90% as intended. However, the combat log will still report them doing full damage.
• Hemorrhage: Rank 4 of this ability no longer has its charges consumed by non-physical attacks and spells.
• Hemorrhage weapon damage reduced from 125% to 110%, but the damage debuff has been increased.
• Hemorrhage: This ability now correctly does additional damage when its debuff has already been applied.
• Preparation now resets the cooldown of Shadowstep and no longer resets the cooldown of Adrenaline Rush.
• Shadowstep now adds a 3 second, 70% movement speed increase.
• Sinister Calling now also increases the percentage damage bonus of Hemorrhage and Backstab by 2/4/6/8/10%.

Shaman

• Lightning Shield mana cost reduced.
• Water Shield now restores mana periodically regardless of how many charges remain. Duration increased to 10 minutes.

Warlock

• The health cost taken from the Warlock after using Health Funnel will now remain consistent between uses.

Warrior

• Defiance: The expertise granted by this talent now works properly in all stances.
• Warriors no longer lose rage when using a macro to enter a stance they’re already in.

Professions

• Alchemy
  • Fixed an issue with Transmute Mastery where the proc rate was lower than intended.
• Cooking
  • Goldthorn Tea was erroneously unlearned by most players who had learned the recipe. The recipe has been re-enabled and can be learned again from Henry Stern in Razorfen Downs at no cost.
• Enchanting:
  • Enchant Shield - Resilience now requires a Runed Fel Iron Rod instead of a Runed Adamantite Rod.
• Leatherworking:
  • Increased the range of leatherworking drums to 40 yards. Drums of Panic remains unchanged at 8 yards.

Items

• Amani Charm of the Witch Doctor: Tooltip typo corrected.
• Hearthstone: The cast time on this item is no longer affected by spell haste.
• Hex Shrunken Head: This item now has a 20 second shared cooldown with other similar trinkets.
• Icy Chill Enchant: The triggered effect from this enchantment will now cause a melee slow and movement snare as intended.
• Idol of the Unseen Moon: This item now has a 30 second cooldown on being triggered.
• Idol of Terror: The triggered agility buff from this item no longer overwrites other agility buffs.
• The Netherscale Ammo Pouch is no longer a Unique item.
• The Knothide Quiver is no longer unique.
• The Vengeful Gladiator’s Grimoire is now available on vendors.

Dungeons and Raids

• Heroic Coilfang Resevoir- Steamvaults
  • Mekgineer Steamrigger's Main Chambers Access Panel is no longer interactable until Mekgineer Steamrigger has been killed.
• Tempest Keep- The Eye
  • The number of Blood Elves guarding Prince Kael'Thas' room has been reduced.
• Zul'Aman
  • The Amani'shi Warrior's Charge ability now has a minimum range.
  • The melee haste provided by Halazzi's Frenzy has been reduced to 100%.
  • Dragonhawks in Zul'Aman can now be skinned. This doesn't include dragonhawks that do not have loot.

Quests

• Blade's Edge Mountains: Players accepting the bombing run quests in Blade's Edge Plateaus will no longer cause other players in the region to stand up.

User Interface

• There is now an option to turn off the screen edge damage flash when you have a fullscreen UI up.
• You can sell stacks by dropping them on the merchant window again.
• Ready check (/readycheck) will now display a visual display of each party/raid member's status next to their name. This will display in the Party UI, the Raid UI and the Raid pullout UI. A player will get a check mark if they are ready, a question mark if they have not replied and a red X if they are not ready or are afk.
• You can now see raid members on the minimap as dark blue dots in addition to party members which still display as light blue dots.
• You can now shift click names while the petition window is open to paste them into the petition.
• Fixed various problems with /castsequence getting stuck.
• /cast will toggle spells again unless the name is prefixed with an exclamation mark, e.g. /castsequence Steady Shot, !Auto Shot

Bug Fixes

• Characters may now possess up to five Paper Flying Machines in a single stack.
• Fixed “Spell/Ability is not ready yet” message when clicking quickly at the beginning of a cast.
• Fixed a server disconnect when moving the mouse over recipes in the guild bank.
• Gnomish Universal Remote will now work properly with the Fel Cannon.
• Disconnecting a USB HeadSet will no longer cause problems with the Voice Chat dropdown menus.
• Clockwork Rocket Bots will no longer attack each other in Shattrath City.
• Channel changes will now appear properly in the chat log after zoning in or out of instances.
• Unplugging headphones/speakers then plugging them back in while in WoW no longer disables all sound in WoW
• If the original owner of a custom channel gives leadership away their options menu will no longer show that they have moderation privileges.
• The first custom created guild ranking will now properly show up in the Guild Control pane drop down menu.
• Control-clicking on inventory items that teach recipes will now properly display you wearing the item made by the recipe in the dressing room UI.
• Fixed an issue that was not allowing all charges of a Field Repair Bot to be used.
• Creatures with random player targeting crowd control abilities such as fear, charm, or sleep will now properly choose a random eligible target rather than just choosing the nearest eligible target.
• The various Hallow’s End broom mounts now have their proper real-time (rather than game-time) duration of 14 days.
• Tricky Treats now have their proper real-time (rather than game-time) duration of 24 hours.

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Assassin's Creed for PC - Hah... don't bother

Get a load of these system specs - 3GB of ram?!

In order to play this game properly, your PC MUST meet or exceed these minimum requirements:

Supported OS: Windows XP / Vista (only)

Processor: Dual core processor 2.6 GHz Intel Pentium D or AMD Athlon 64 X2 3800+ (Intel Core 2 Duo 2.2 GHz or AMD Athlon 64 X2 4400+ or better recommended)

RAM: 2 GB (3 GB recommended)

Video Card: 256 MB DirectX 10.0–compliant video card or DirectX 9.0–compliant card with Shader Model 3.0 or higher (512 MB video card recommended) (see supported list)*

Sound Card: DirectX 9.0 or 10.0 compliant sound card (5.1 sound card recommended)

DirectX Version: DirectX 10.0 libraries (included on disc)

DVD-ROM: DVD-ROM dual-layer drive

Hard Drive Space: 12 GB

Peripherals Supported: Keyboard, mouse, optional controller (Xbox 360 Controller for Windows recommended)

*Supported Video Cards at Time of Release:
ATI RADEON X1300-1950 / HD 2000 / 3000 series
NVIDIA GeForce 6600-6800 / 7 / 8 / 9 series

Laptop versions of these cards may work but are NOT supported. These chipsets are the only ones that will run this game.

NOTICE: This game contains technology intended to prevent copying that may conflict with some disc and virtual drives.

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White PS3 Coming to America.

So, you know, if you haven't bought a PS3 yet... because the color was wrong... (and not because of the stupidly high price, limited/crappy game library, etc)... well, your salvation is coming.

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Chinese Documentary Uses Wow Maps

Get a load of this... apparently it's just easier to photoshop the map of the Arathi Highlands than it is just to get an actual map of Iran, Iraq and Turkey. Is there anything regarding WoW that the chinese haven't bastardized and ruined?

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Battlefield Heroes - So Much For That

Another one I found on Blues'-

A German-language article on GameStar.de has some details on Battlefield Heroes, the just-announced free installment in the Battlefield series of military shooters. These details, uncovered in a German gaming magazine, include word that the game is third-person only with no first-person option, and that there are plans for an open beta test this summer.

3rd person only? What, is it going to be an RPG instead of an FPS or something?

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NorthStar Announced

From Bluesnews-

Kerberos Productions announces development of NorthStar, a science fiction RPG set in a different continuity than their Sword of the Stars 4X games. NorthStar is described by Kerberos CEO Martin Cirulis as being "...about putting the rogue back in your wingcommander." A NorthStar Forum is already live to foster discussion of the project, and offers a few details, including word that combat will be more tactical than flight sim (it sounds like ship navigation may be third-person), there will be an emphasis on exploration and trade, cooperative multiplayer support will be offered, and more. Most of what's been revealed about the game is summarized on this page, while this page offers some concept art and the following list of features:

• Countless RPG missions, nested with story-specific missions, that take place on ships, spacestations, planets, and moons! Shoot it out in ship-to-ship combat or shoot it out on the ground as you and your crew try and make a living!

• Faction-based reputation in dealing with various groups expanding throughout the stars, each modeled as the future, fictional version of Earth nations!

• Massive amounts of cargo that the you can trade, sell, or use for yourself, including combining items to produce new items to trade, sell or use! Map new planets in the air and then explore the surface with your crew for your own purposes or to make a little extra cash from land-hungry colonists!

• Dozens of ship classes, each with expandable levels of technology - which are reflected in the ship models, weapons and combat effects. Dozens of weapons and technology players can outfit their ship with in order to fly further, fast, carry more cargo, and protect themselves better!

• And more!

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The Top 25 Tech Flops of All Time

Makes for an interesting read. The named links at the bottom are broken, but the page number links still work.

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Coming Soon - Actual TIE Fighters.

They've already got the Ion Engines working, but it really tweaks me how the article calls them "Star Trek type engines," when Ion Engines are actually Star Wars. Star Trek's engines of note are the "Warp Drives" which operate by bending space around the vessel... and I dare say we're a few more years away from that kind of technology.

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The Weighted Companion Cube PC Case Mod

Somehow I don't think this thing has very good ventilation.

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Age of Conan Release Delayed Again

Release date pushed back yet another 2 months, reputedly for "polishing."

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Battlefield Heroes - Free to Play

Seems EA is trying something different with their upcoming summer release of Battlefield Heroes. Not only is the game an artistic departure from previous battlefield titles (looks kinda cartoony, like TF2, maybe even cel shaded), but apparently it will be free to play, with the client downloaded from online. The business model for this game says it will make money via in-game advertising and micropayments for bonus gear and things.

Myself, I've watched the Battlefield series go from awesome to repulsive over the course of time. I have zero confidence in EA making this work.. but hey, if it's free to download, I might well check it out all the same.

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Off Topic Friday #18 - "Dude"

All the "Dudes" from the Big Lebowski.

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The Best Flash Game Ever

You just have to play it.

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Bionic Commando ReArmed

Apparently while those brainiacs over at Capcom have been putting together their full 3D remake of Bionic Commando, they've also put together a level-for-level "2.5D" revamp of the original NES Classic. They're calling it Bionic Commando ReArmed. It'll be on XBLA, PSN, and PC this spring. Color me excited.

Trailer available for you here. (10mb)

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Don't get Vista's SP1 RC Refresh Yet.

Reasons why here.

Downloading and installing the patches takes a couple of hours, depending on how many updates your machine needs. However, more than 30 hours after first installing a clean version of the SP1 RC Refresh, it's still finding missing updates linked to the SP1. While the changelog for the initial Release Candidate was long and detailed, the new RC Refresh is beset by a dearth of information.

Given that, the amount of time it will take to load all the patches and bug fixes, and that some of those may not yet be ready for prime time, I'm going to recommend that most users give SP1 RC Refresh a pass until a better update comes out.

Only if you feel incredibly comfortable crippling your machine should you bother with this monstrosity.

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Blizzard Decides to Un-Protect Starcraft

The latest patch for those good ol' standbys, Starcraft and Starcraft Broodwars, now makes it available to play without having the CD in the drive (as if we hadn't been cracking it all these years). I guess common sense takes over at some point.

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New Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust

Sierra's got another Leisure Suit Larry game coming at us, and it looks like they don't want to repeat the mistakes that got people grumbling about Magna Cum Laude.

Let's not pull any punches here. The last Leisure Suit Larry was a radical departure from previous titles in the series, and a huge disappointment for fans who were hoping for an adventure game but instead found a collection of tedious mini-games. Thankfully Sierra, the publisher of the series, has taken the criticisms on board, and Larry is back with a new developer and a new focus that looks to marry the charms of Larry-past with modern gaming sensibilities.

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Zero Punctuation Reviews - Crysis

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RIP - Star Trek Online

Seems another fly has hit the zapper.

I'm not particularly broken up over it. The plan they outlined for Star Trek Online let you only be federation (and only a limited number of races in the federation), and little to no PVP. Ah well. Sic transit yadda yadda.

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Video Game Writing Award Nominees

This has to be some kind of bad joke. World in conflict? Were they playing the same game as me? That plot was so chestnutted and hackneyed, those characters so recycled, that I thought it had to be satire!

Just goes to show you Console tards can't tell up from down when it comes to good storytelling. Where was CoD4? Where was Bioshock (which did have a good story, despite all my bias against it for a bad launch)? Where was Sam & Max? Where was Half Life Ep 2?

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Off Topic Friday #17 - Boortz's Thoughts for 2008

Neal Boortz's Ten Thoughts for 2008 -

Number 10. Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6. Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying Of nothing.

Number 4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax Cut saves you $0.30?

Number 2. In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world Is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2008: 'Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your a$$ tomorrow'.

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Separated at Birth - Video Game Edition

10 Video Game characters and the real life people they resemble. Dennis Kucinich as Larry Laffer was the kicker for me. Read it.

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Upside Down Internet

Have an open wireless network? Neighbors stealing your bandwidth? I suppose you could close it off with security and such, but consider you could also screw with them.

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FCC Actually Championing the Consumer?

Somehow I am thinking my eyes are deceiving me.

The FCC Chairman is seemingly saying a whole lot of stuff I like, especially where DRM, a-la-carte Cable, broadband, etc, are concerned. I guess time will tell if it is a sign of good things to come, or just talk.

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Microsoft to Buy Logitech?

Logitech's stock went up on news that Microsoft could be making a bid to buy them. The founder says he's not interested, but as he only owns 6% of the stock it might not be up to him.

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Crysis 1.1 Patch kinda broken

Word on the street is there's some issues with the 1.1 Patch for Crysis. May want to pay attention to some of the work-arounds if you are patching it.

A day has now passed since the Crysis Patch 1.1 was released. We have seen several postings pop up here on Crymod with members reporting installation problems and general issues with the patch. Crytek and fellow community members have been working hard attempting to find workarounds for these problems, and we’d like to share them with you now.

Patch Problems – Workarounds
If you are suffering from an installation problem with Patch 1.1 or having other unresolved new issues with it, several workarounds have been discovered which can be found here: Crysis Patch 1.1 - Known Issues & Workarounds!. Please read through them and let us know which ones do work and which don't.

Additionally you are welcome to inform us about new workarounds you find for specific problems. We are currently investigating these issues in-house and keep you updated on the status.

Performance Increase Discussion
One of the focusing points of Patch 1.1 was increasing the performance of the game overall. After you have installed the patch, you should see some performance increase.

To aid Crytek in better understanding how this patch has increased performance on multiple machines, we would like to ask the community to consider benchmarking your performance while running Crysis and post the results in our Patch 1.1 Benchmark Results topic.

We have previously reported on an excellent benchmarking tool in an earlier news posting, so if you are in need of one, we suggest checking out this benchmarking tool developed by MadBoris.

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Darth Vader and Yoda in Soul Calibur IV?

Well, it sure looks that way.

Every day it gets more painful to deny myself a new Console, because despite stuff like the above, I just wouldn't play it enough to justify the cost. I mean, I think I got a grand total of 50 hours out of my PS2... and that was with Amplitude and Burnout and SC2 and a myriad of other games I really really liked. Ah well.

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Zero Punctuation Reviews - Silent Hill Origins

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I'm Back

Ok, Vacation's over, and now I'm 4 wisdom teeth lighter as well. Updates should start trickling back to normalcy here, gradually.

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Assassin's Creed wtf

The one doing the "suspicious behavior" is an NPC guard. Go figure.

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Zero Punctuation Reviews - Super Mario Galaxy

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