Monday, October 27, 2008

The Whiners of Warhammer


I've been noticing a trend lately. I play both Order and Destruction characters, each day choosing one just purely on whim. Despite my experience and better judgement, I also occasionally peruse the IGN warhammer forum, mostly because from time to time Mark Jacobs, Mythic GM posts there.

As I knew from my time in Dark Age of Camelot, the place is a gathering spot for whiners and haters of the highest caliber. You thought the WoW official forums were bad? Welcome to Butthurt Central.

So anyway, I have a passing familiarity with some of the gripes the gripers make about this game, from my (as brief as possible) visits to the IGN vaginalogue fest and of course from hearing the occasional whine in /1 or /sc while I play. I've noticed that Order seems to whine about how Destruction outnumbers them in open world RvR (though that is becoming less and less the case with Mythic's recent incentives to roll new characters on numerically disadvantaged realms), and especially at low levels they whine about the nigh-invulnerability of the Orc. Destruction, however, whines about Bright Wizards and scenarios.

My order characters never seem to have a problem getting into a scenario as quickly as they like, and they can pick and choose. Don't want Stonetroll crossing or Tor Anroc? No problem! Just queue for the others and wait a couple minutes. I am absolutely loving Highpass Cemetery, btw. But they do seem to have some trouble hanging on to keeps in the non-scenario RvR arenas. The whining is actually pretty sparse there.

Ohhh but destruction. Never have I heard more mealy-mouthed tear-streaked mewling crybabies in one spot since... well, since closing the window that had IGN's forums open. God forbid more than 3 players on the other side in a scenario should happen to be bright wizards, that's just grounds for logging out right there. And one of the recurring whines is how the only tier 3 scenario that ever comes up is Tor Anroc. Never mind that if all these people who hate tor anroc simply didn't queue for it, they'd have a grand time in the other ones.

For instance, just last night I managed to get into Temple of Isha on destruction side (by simply queueing for everything and then removing myself from the Tor Anroc queue, go figure) three times in a row. The first time, Order claimed the flag first, and we didn't manage to fight them away from it until they were up by about 280-50 or so. General consensus in /sc was "just hold the flag and we can still win" even though there was less than 8 minutes left to go. But certain dumb players couldn't help running off where the healers (who stayed at the flag) couldn't get to them, and kept feeding the enemy points so that we finally lost... by three points. It was a gutwrenching defeat. So close.

Second time in, we started out rough again. Many on our side didn't join in a timely manner, only appearing 30 or so seconds after the clock started running, so naturally Order got the flag first. Then people started whining about how order had FIVE! FIVE! five bright wizards! This was intolerable to them. They started whining about wanting to log out. I remember this one dark elf called Ysr or Ysl or something like that in paricular, because she was one of the brainless twats handing the enemy extra frag points by hustling to her death in the first match. She vocalized her intent to log out and then did so. So did some others, mostly the brain dead simps of similar bearing as her. This meant that in mid-match, some poor bastards got brought in from the queue to fill those who logged out, only to get their butt handed to them in less than 5 minutes and get pushed back out (probably running back to Tor Anroc with their tail between their legs) because some big girls' blouses couldn't handle a challenge.

I wanted to haul the quitters back into the scenario and yell at them. "You know what Ysl? Go ahead and bail, because you're useless anyway. I saw you last match, running off to hand victory over to Order by trying to solo the entire Order team while out of healer range. If you really want to do the forces of evil a favor, just log out and stay out. Don't requeue for another scenario, ever. Better yet, delete your character. Better still! Roll order and subject THEM to your incompetence and whining! Or why don't we just cut to the best solution of all and have you go die in a fire??"

Fortunately the whiners didn't come back for the third round. Despite Order getting the flag first as always, we rallied, kicked them off, and held the flag. Without the Short Attention Span Special Forces going and getting themselves farmed one at a time, we managed to overcome the exact same situation we were in first match and win. How about that. Who'd have thunk that the loudest whiners were also our least effective fighters?

There's a big debate at good'ol IGN about whether or not people who log out of scenarios because they are losing are complete wankers. For me, there's no debate. Undeniably they are the biggest wankers since wanking was discovered. They'll tell you that "getting my ass kicked is not fun. Why should I play if I'm not having fun?" So let me get this straight... only winning is fun? You can never be allowed to lose or else you're not having fun? Why don't we just get you a game that consists of a single big red button marked "WIN" that you can push and it will play fanfare for you every time you do?

These are probably the same kids that when they realize they're going to lose at chess or checkers, their answer is to slap the board across the room and storm out. Listen you pasty retards, when you joined that queue, you signed up to play a team game with other people. While not exactly as binding as a commitment to the armed forces, it still labels you a dick if you then take your ball and go home the instant you start to lose. It's PvP! Someone has to lose if someone's going to win, and if you're routinely experiencing crushing defeats perhaps it's time to start looking for the problem in the mirror! In a soccer match, do players on the losing team start driving home at halftime? No! The entire attitude of these "I quit when I'm not having fun" people just absolutely reeks if immaturity and possibly developmental/personality disorders.

Well, it's just further proof that even in the best MMOs on the market, the worst aspect is always the other players.

Oh no! Aragorn was dotted by Bright Wizards!


5 comments:

Dimento Graven said...

Dude that's fuckin' hilarious!

I'm SO goddamn glad I don't play MMO's any more. At least not for a long, long, LONG time...

God I hope I can stay away from that digital crack...

PPMcBiggs said...

Other players are the worst part of any online game. That is why I do not like playing with people I dont know. I will admit that I am a pretty sore loser (Soul Calibur) but, in my fits of rage and cursing, deep down I know it is because GB is better than me. And that is OK, at least I am hanging out with my buddies.

It is different online though. The lack of fraternity breeds a "There is no way this little punk can be better than me" attitude. Which manifests itself in various ways depending on game genre (bitching about aim-bots/hacks/lag in FPSs, imbalances or whatnot in MMORPGS).

The anonymity of the internet brings out the worst in people. Combine that with todays atmosphere of entitlement and you have an intolerable combination.

I will pick small lans with a few friends any day over a 64 player cat-ass whine fest any day.

DimentoGraven said...

You are so right bro.

What's the plan for Thanksgiving anyway?

PPMcBiggs said...

Don't know for sure yet. Both the kids got jobs. The boy is working at Target and the girl is working at a doughnut shop. They will most likely have to work the day after thanksgiving and will most likely not be able to take it off.

So, we are not sure if we are going to go up there or stay down here.

Are dad, matt and lory still planning on making a trip?

DimentoGraven said...

Yep, they sure are.

They'll be here the week of thanks giving.